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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25866721">Virtually Perfect</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/inquisitor_tohru/pseuds/inquisitor_tohru'>inquisitor_tohru</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Armitage Hux Lives, Crack Treated Seriously, First Dates, Identity Porn, M/M, Online Dating, Post-Canon, Virgin Armitage Hux</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:00:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,157</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25866721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/inquisitor_tohru/pseuds/inquisitor_tohru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe Dameron has found the perfect lover - online. When <i>tarine_tease's</i> sexy words fly across the computer screen, he can seduce him in a heartbeat. The hot, detailed images of them together feed his sexual fantasies. The best part? Poe doesn’t have to make a commitment or even cook dinner for him. No fuss, no muss. He can switch him off at any time. So why is he feeling unsatisfied? </p><p>Armitage Hux is ready for the next step - to meet in person. He wants to make it real with <i>black_TIE.</i> Their virtual relationship has left him in a constantly aroused state, hungry for a taste of his lips and the touch of his skin. He wants to make love - all night long - to the man who’s captured his heart sight unseen. </p><p>
  <i>Written for <b>Unconventional Courtship 2020</b> - summary adapted from Samantha Hunter's novel of the same name, published by Harlequin (2004)</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Armitage Hux</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Unconventional Courtship</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span>Poe groaned as he woke up hunched over his desk, peeling his cheek away from the screen of his datapad. He hadn't been asleep long, but he already had a stiff neck (at least it was </span><em><span>just</span></em><span> his neck this time). What had started off as mere flirtation, as a bit of fun, was threatening to spiral out of control if he didn't get a grip and get his head out of his cockpit...but that wasn't the only problem. What was getting him even more hot and bothered than the sexual fantasies tarine_tease</span> <span>had, well, </span><em><span>teased </span></em><span>him with was the fact that it had started to feel like that wasn't enough.</span></p><p>
  <span>Poe wanted more</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to want more. The Resistance-First Order conflict had come to an end, but its effects still lingered, and beginning a new relationship in the midst of all that was a lot. Poe didn't know if he was ready for that kind of commitment just yet. There were a couple of people on the Resistance base that he wouldn't have kicked out of bed </span>
  <em>
    <span>if </span>
  </em>
  <span>he hadn't been their commanding officer. That just made things weird at best, and creepy at worst. Holonet dating had seemed like a good way to meet new people and take them along on a test flight, as it were. The galaxy was changing and there were a lot of other folks trying to figure themselves out, too. </span>
</p><p><span>Something had just </span><em><span>clicked </span></em><span>with this guy, and Poe probably shouldn't have been as surprised as he was when his smooth-talking, tea-loving beau</span> <span>suggested meeting up (and following that suggestion with numerous </span><em><span>other </span></em><span>suggestions). But it did catch him off guard, and so he stayed up agonising over his response. Saying no was the smart choice - that way, they could either continue as they had been or move on before someone got hurt. </span></p><p>
  <span>But he really, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>wanted to say yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm telling you, I've got a bad feeling about this." Poe was barely awake enough to say hello as Finn strolled in, fresh-faced and smelling like standard Resistance-issued soap, let alone respond to </span>
  <em>
    <span>that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop reading my mind," he muttered, raking his hands through his hair. "It's not exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>polite." </span>
  </em>
  <span>Finn shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not. It's just obvious." He wrinkled his nose. "When was the last time you took a shower?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're just full of pleasantries this morning, buddy."</span>
</p><p><span>"I do my best." They both grinned - there was no malice in it. Honestly, Finn was right. Poe had ended up sleeping in clothes he'd already been wearing all day. In a jungle</span> <span>climate.</span> <span>Of </span><em><span>course</span></em><span> he smelled gross. </span></p><p>
  <span>"Okay, I'll shower, and then I'll be right with you." They didn't have a lot to do lately since, for better or worse, many of the relief missions or rebuilding projects begun by the Resistance had been taken on by senators and their aides. One of the few exceptions was Finn and Jannah's program for stormtrooper rehabilitation - between that and Jedi training with Rey, Finn was frequently in demand, and Poe had been at a loss when it came to having all this free time without his best friends. It often felt as if Finn and Rey, so bright and young and full of potential, were leaving him behind. And Snap...Snap was </span>
  <em>
    <span>gone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Poe picked up his datapad, opened the chat window with tarine_tease, and typed a single word, resolving not to check for a reply until </span>
  <em>
    <span>after</span>
  </em>
  <span> his shower.</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Hux sat perfectly still, eyes glued to the screen of his datapad, still in mild shock. He'd wanted black_TIE to say yes but had utterly failed in considering what came next. Since escaping the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Steadfast </span>
  </em>
  <span>and seeing the galaxy through the eyes of a civilian rather than a First Order general, he'd come to discover that attitudes towards dating and relationships varied considerably depending on where a person was from and the kind of upbringing they'd had, and all sorts of other factors that were extremely difficult for him to navigate. Holonet dating had just seemed easier, at least until he started chatting with someone he actually </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked. </span>
  </em>
</p><p><span>He checked out the cantina that black_TIE had suggested...after informing him that he was just out of the shower. Hux ignored the heat in his cheeks, now spreading all the way to the tips of his ears, and focused on the proposed meeting place. It looked nice enough - not fancy, but not exactly shabby either and, he noted with a wry smile, they specialised in tarine tea. In fact, they had an extensive drinks menu, and he wondered if he might be tempted to try a different kind of tea. He wondered what black_TIE would make of that.</span> <span>Hux reached for his flask. All this thinking about tea was making him </span><em><span>thirsty</span></em><span>.</span></p><p>
  <span>A hundred other questions crossed his mind, and he breathed deeply to keep focus. How would he recognise this mystery man? Hux very much doubted he'd be wearing a TIE pilot's suit in public, even if he still owned one. He'd seen a couple of pictures, but they weren't exactly helpful, as it was generally frowned upon to go about inspecting other people's behinds. What would he do if he wanted to have sex? Clearly Hux wasn't opposed to the idea, given how many conversations they'd had about it, but the truth was that he'd never </span>
  <em>
    <span>done</span>
  </em>
  <span> any of the things they talked about (the sole exception being masturbation, which he had slightly more time for nowadays). To say he had </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> idea what to do or to expect was an exaggeration, but he was keenly aware that most men in their mid-thirties were more experienced than he was, and a little concerned that his online persona may have given a...false impression, in that regard. Maybe it wouldn't matter. Maybe it would all be fine. Plenty of idiots managed to copulate - how hard could it </span>
  <em>
    <span>be? </span>
  </em>
  <span>It certainly wasn't the thing that worried him the most.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The most troubling thing was that he was Armitage Hux, former </span>
  <em>
    <span>general of the First Order. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Most people feared him, which he'd encouraged, and, as it turned out, despised him. It hadn't mattered much before. As a general he'd demanded fear and respect, but he didn't need people to </span>
  <em>
    <span>like </span>
  </em>
  <span>him. That was a fool's game. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And what was that proverb about love making fools of us all," he muttered to the loth-cat perched at his window. It was impressive that the creatures were able to thrive in the lower levels of Coruscant. The air was stale and oppressive, and many of the apartments were crawling with critters, but it was a place where people were easily forgotten. The loth-cat tilted her head and pricked up her ears, as if considering Hux's musings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You'd better not be bringing any other, more unsavoury guests in with you," he told her as she hopped down, and then scratched behind her ear. "I've </span>
  <em>
    <span>just</span>
  </em>
  <span> de-infested this place." She glanced at the fridge before giving him a knowing look. He sighed and took out a thin scrap of meat, thinking about how to ascend to the upper levels of the city without anyone recognising him, and how to survive a date in a topside cantina without making a complete and utter fool of himself.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span>When Poe boarded the ship to Coruscant it was strange not to be the one in the pilot's seat. He'd grown so used to spending time in the cockpit that the command centre had felt almost </span><em><span>static, </span></em><span>even with all the hustle and bustle. He didn't miss war, but he missed hopping into his X-wing instead of datawork and delegating. Being planetside for too long could be suffocating for a pilot and here, amongst the stars, he felt that more than ever. Even if he was so nervous that he felt like his stomach was doing backflips - the last time he'd experienced that was during the battle of Exegol, which </span><em><span>probably</span></em><span> said a lot of unfortunate things about his dating experiences. But chatting someone up online was one thing, and getting serious was another, especially as things were at the moment. Finn might have had a bad feeling about it, but Rey</span> <span>hadn't said anything, so it couldn't be a sure thing, </span><em><span>right? </span></em><span>At least BB-8 was with them, though Poe had begun to worry about the influence R2 was having on his astromech, as well as on little D-O.</span></p><p>
  <span>As usual, he was overthinking things. As far as he knew, all that would happen would be that he'd meet up with this guy for a bit of uncomplicated fun (maybe get to tie some slightly </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> complicated knots) and that'd be it. He realised he wasn't absolutely sure what it was that tarine_tea wanted from him, other than to meet up and, presumably, have sex. There hadn't really been a right moment to ask, and he'd struggled to form the question in a way that didn't sound either too needy or too dismissive - it could be so difficult to get tone across online without using a plethora of emojis, and then there were times </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> came with its own drawbacks. He had no idea why he'd ever thought this could be simple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt as if eons had passed when the passenger ship finally dropped out of hyperspace and into Coruscant's atmosphere. Poe was more used to traversing hyperlanes than most, but hurtling through hyperspace could sometimes do strange things to a person's sense of time and space. The transition from the planet's atmosphere to one of Galactic City's busy skylanes was impressively smooth, and Poe would have congratulated the pilot, had he encountered them. </span>
</p><p><span>By the time they docked it was later than Poe had expected, and he only really had time to check into the hotel room he'd booked (because he hadn't wanted to be presumptuous) and freshen up after the journey. It was a nice enough establishment. Nothing too extravagant, since he didn't exactly have the credits for a topside suite, but he couldn't complain - the room had hot water, a firm mattress, and soft pillows. He imagined lying beneath the gaberwool blankets, his body pressed up against a man whose face and name were as yet unknown to him, while so much else was</span> <span>known. At this point, Poe was pretty confident in thinking it didn't really </span><em><span>matter </span></em><span>what he looked like or what his real name was - he was just excited to meet him.</span></p><hr/><p>
  <span>Hux ordered tarine tea with a hint of amusement. He had considered getting caf instead as a kind of private joke, but then worried that his date would walk right past him. So he'd ordered plain tarine tea, no sugar. Most people preferred to sweeten it, either with honey or those little sugar lumps. He recalled that black_TIE had a fondness for honey, and had requested a small pot for when he arrived. Naturally, Hux had been nearly twenty minutes early - partly because he hadn't anticipated how smoothly things would go when he took the turbo-lift up there, and partly because Hux had </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>been in the habit of showing up early. </span>
</p><p><span>Though he'd seen it from above when he first arrived on Coruscant, the view of the city from here was strange to him. The differences between the upper and lower levels, the upper and lower </span><em><span>classes,</span></em><span> were stark and, frankly, rather uncomfortable. But that probably had a little something to do with the fact that </span><em><span>he </span></em><span>wasn't one of the ones with a fancy penthouse overlooking Monument Plaza. It certainly wasn't how he'd envisioned the galaxy under his</span> <span>rule...but then, Coruscant under the First Order had not been what he'd imagined it would be either. </span></p><p><span>He thanked the droid who served his tea and the small pot of honey, and let it brew a while longer. Hux liked his tea strong and bitter. It kept him sharp, or it usually did. His mind kept wandering back to his conversations with black_TIE and he could already feel his cheeks going red when he reflected on some of the things he'd said. It wasn't that he hadn't </span><em><span>meant</span></em><span> them, but he hoped black_TIE wasn't expecting someone with that calibre of self-confidence</span> <span>when they met face-to-face, only to encounter a bundle of nerves instead. As the doubts swirled around in his mind, he began to think that maybe he shouldn't have come early. Maybe he should never have come at all. It would have been so easy to apologise and make an excuse, maybe postpone their meeting until he could </span><em><span>prepare</span></em><span> himself, maybe watch a few holovids for research purposes…</span></p><p>
  <span>These frantic thoughts were cut short when he glanced towards the bar. He hadn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>meant </span>
  </em>
  <span>to stare, but the man was </span>
  <em>
    <span>leaning</span>
  </em>
  <span> over the counter, practically displaying himself as he read the menu. There was no mistaking that arse. Unfortunately, that was not the only feature Hux recognised. The lush, dark brown curls, the olive-toned skin, and the exaggerated hand gestures were all familiar because he'd seen them before. There was no mistaking that arse, and there was no mistaking that </span>
  <em>
    <span>ass.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hux's eyes flickered back and forth between the exits and the entrances to the kitchens and 'freshers, but he'd been too slow. He considered running, but decided against it - his leg had never properly healed anyway. He'd grown complacent, and that sickened him more than the revelation that black_TIE was none other than-</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"What-"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello again, Dameron," Hux said, with a sigh as long as a bantha's digestive tract.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I knew it," said Poe, who most definitely had not 'known it', jabbing the air with his index finger. In his other hand was a bouquet of roses, which he now immensely regretted. Hux leaned over the table, head in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I </span>
  <em>
    <span>should </span>
  </em>
  <span>have known it," he mumbled between his long, bony fingers. "Who else would have such a </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid username?" </span>
  </em>
  <span>Poe snorted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You, apparently - a shame you didn't go with Hugs though. And if my username put you off, I'd </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>to see how you talk to someone you're actually keen on." Hux's complexion was somehow torn between two extremities, unable to decide between ghostly white or brilliant scarlet. The latter matched the roses. Poe would have been half-tempted to bring up some of the lewd imagery that tarine_tease, that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hux, </span>
  </em>
  <span>had conjured up in their conversations if they hadn't been in a perfectly respectable establishment that he had planned on being able to revisit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't help that the idea of Hux - </span>
  <em>
    <span>prim, priggish Hux </span>
  </em>
  <span>- describing blowjobs in vivid detail turned out to be a very unexpected turn-on. Honestly, an hour ago he'd have been surprised to hear Hux had so much as held hands with another person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I, um, had wanted to thank you," he said. It was true enough, and it wasn't as if this conversation could get much more awkward than it already was. "You know, for saving my life. And Finn's, and Chewie's." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you thought - what, that you'd chat me up online?" Hux hissed, suddenly much more recognisable than the man who'd been folded over the table mere moments ago.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That- I didn't </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>know it was you. If I did, then I wouldn't-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course you wouldn't," Hux snapped. "Who in their right minds </span>
  <em>
    <span>would?" </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yet I'm still standing here." In yet another unanticipated turn of events, and against all better judgement, Poe realised that he didn't want to leave. This might not be what he expected or even hoped for, but the connection he'd made online was real, and that connection happened to be with Hux. He'd be lying if he said that didn't change </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but it didn't change everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why?" Hux sounded like he had an extraordinarily large lump caught in his throat. Poe pulled out a stool and sat down opposite him, carefully placing the roses on the third stool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because I want to be." He nodded towards the little pot on the table. "Because you got me honey." The miserable line that was Hux's mouth twisted into a slightly less miserable line. "Why are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>still here?" Poe watched as he ran a hand through his hair, trying to distract from the nervous laughter upon his lips. He asked another question, instead of answering Poe's.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I- Where do we even </span>
  <em>
    <span>go</span>
  </em>
  <span> from here?" Poe shrugged, noticed Hux's empty cup, and then smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I could always start by getting you another drink, if you'd like."</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>Two hours later, Hux was sipping his third cup of tea and trying to process the chain of events that had led from an overtly sexual online relationship to finding out that the person he'd been 'courting' (for lack of a more appropriate term) was his former enemy (whose life he'd saved, for his </span>
  <em>
    <span>own </span>
  </em>
  <span>reasons) to comfortably conversing about how he made a living when P- </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dameron </span>
  </em>
  <span>asked him about his life on Coruscant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hux had endured a lot of strange afternoons in his life, and this was one of the strangest. Even stranger was the fact that he couldn't say it was entirely unpleasant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, so you work with droids? I should have guessed, since you're so fond of programming." It took Hux a couple of seconds longer than it ought to have done for him to realise Dameron was, once again, tooling with him. He kept his expression neutral.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm surprised you didn't bring your little astromech with you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I doubt BB-8 would appreciate third-wheeling, even with all the rolling around." Hux bit his lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> how the droid would perceive this?" Dameron paused to drink his honeyed tea.</span>
</p><p><span>"Yes." Hux's nails dug into his palms beneath the table, his heart hammered against his ribcage like it was a prison, and he had to focus to keep breathing because if he didn't then it was entirely possible that he might forget. It was almost a relief when Dameron resumed speaking. "I know this is weird - and yeah, that's a </span><em><span>bit</span></em><span> of an understatement</span> <span>- but I…" He reached under the table for Hux's hand, and in that moment he wished he still had his black leather gloves. Even the brush of Poe's fingertips was almost too much. His hand was warm without being clammy, and Hux let it close over his. "I enjoy talking to you, and not just in the chatroom. Here, </span><em><span>now, </span></em><span>and...I'm willing to give this a try, if that's what </span><em><span>you </span></em><span>want, too." Poe took a deep breath. Evidently he, too, had been in danger of forgetting.</span></p><p>
  <span>"I think I would," Hux said quietly, "but I don't really know how." Poe chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That makes two of us. Maybe we could start by just...doing this again?" Hux felt something tug at the corner of his lips, and realised it was a smile. A </span>
  <em>
    <span>genuine </span>
  </em>
  <span>smile. "I'm here for a couple more days, so…"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'd like that." Poe positively </span>
  <em>
    <span>beamed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then it's a date."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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